spilled beans

damn it! ahhhhhh..... ****** accidentaly read my diary.. huhuhu.. the one i kept for 2 years already.. i actually brought it with me all the time in my handy bag, feared that my mum would read it coz it doesnt have any padlock so i carry it all the time with me...but actually ****** read it... i think her curiosity got it the way in time she scan and read it.. while im out by the door with tasneem.. then she confess to me that she read my diary... first she said...

"im totally sorry i didnt mean to........"
and i said... "didnt mean to what? is it my cellphone?"
"no"
"uhmmm..... water spillled all over my desk"
"uhmmmm no"
"then what is it?"
"i read your diary"

.... that was the most heart-pounding sentence i ever heard!!!!! i cant help but scream... i was like.. "noooooo... AHHHHHHH" then someone hush me.. coz the guidance councelor might heard me with all this racket... huhuhuhu... i almost want to cry... she said then

"pls dont get angry.. i didnt mean to i was searching for your ipod in your bag then accidentaly read your diary"

i was all speechless but honestly im totally not angry at her.... in fact
i felt so guilty... !!! ahhhhhh... huhuhuhu.. i cant move on..... why why?!!?!?!?!?

then after that she ask so many questions that i cant handle about whos "blah blah.. did i do something wrong.. ?"

huhu... i cant answer it all... i dont want want to take a peak at what ive just write in that stupid journal... i plan to throw it away.. but raichelle told me not to.. coz its full of memories and such.... gosh! i made the wrong choice! damn it!! huhuhu.. i should have thrown it a year ago.. huhu

im going to burn that notebook down.... i cant stand what ive written in there... dont even know what ive just written there...

then isabel said "i never thought that **** ***** ** ******** that much"
i was like... past is past !! just forget all about it.. can you? ahhhhhhh!!!!

i guess past is present and future for her coz she keeps nagging me.... urging me to tell the truth.. haiiz... dont have to all the truth is inside that notebook.. no matter how i kept denying it... i know that she knows im lying

well im just glad.. (i think) that she confessed it to me...
this incident remind me of someone.. haha... like lorraine.. i was like ****** that time.. wanting to read others thoughs.. haha.. then that time.. i remember i was reading lorraine's diary.. but completely she was there when i read it..

the one i really want to read is her big diary somewhat like a clearfolder thing.. haha.. were completely made a mess with our selves tagging that big clearfolder haha... but eventually i give up ...

****** is the very first person to READ MY ENTIRE journal

i felt so GUILTY


im living in a NIGHTMARE.. and this is my NIGHTMARE!!!

i cant belive im going to *****!!!! wahahahahaha.. gosh! damn!!!!!!